I have sat on the bottom of a swimming pool for a short time. Sounds were muffled, vision disoriented, time seemed shortened. My mind felt briefly transformed, my lungs demanded oxygen, I rose to the surface and grabbed a breath of fresh air as I surfaced.
I have found myself emotionally stretched far beyond the limits I believed I could endure. I found myself sinking to the bottom of the despair removing myself from the intensity and taking a moment to look around as I dispassionately chose to remove myself from the pain of existing in the fray. When I returned I drew a deep breath of fresh air free of the emotional chaos. I returned cloaked in the protection of someone else. I was born to endure and survive. I led myself to safety away from the fray protected to emerge another day.
I have, at times, been a voyeur to the pain and suffering of others. I began to run towards them to ease their pain and was stopped in my tracks by the knowledge of my inadequacies. I watched silently not moving a muscle though I travelled at the speed of love. I was suspended in a time and place existing between myself and the one who was suffering. I reached towards them crying out for their release from suffering. My cries were captured in the distance between us. I surrendered. The space between us vanished. We sat quietly together both worn and tattered yet somehow sustained by each other.
I am a stranger here. Loyal to the calling yet listening to every sound with a tremble of fear. I am bound by the love that binds me and from all the losing of myself I am made whole. Far away I hear the steady rumble of a battle coming, coming, coming. I hold my breath prepared to run and destined to stand. I surrender to the calling. I am no longer mine. Love has redeemed me. Memories flash through my mind one after the other. I was born for such a time as this though I am weak but by love made strong.
